Favorite Simpsons Quotes I Can’t Fit Into Normal Conversation

“Are poo and ass taken?” – Homer

Homer arrives late at the bowling alley to hang with Lenny and Carl. Lenny and Carl have taken the liberty of entering their ‘info’ into the digital scorecard. Instead of entering their real initials, Lenny and Carl enter ‘POO’ and ‘ASS’, and have a good laugh over their juvenile mischief. Lenny (I think) says to Homer “Hey Homer, what initials do you want for your name?” Homer instantly perks up “Are poo or ass taken?” he sees they are, and slumps down upset.

“My mistake was grabbing the cheese.” – Chief Wiggum

Oh man. This one’s one of my favorite. Bart and Millhouse are living in the mall. The police have assessed the damage they’ve cause and decided the mall has a cougar problem. Solution? A trap that involves a hunk of cheese with an anvil above it. Chief Wiggum explains the trap to Lou, which is pretty simple: the cougar grabs the cheese; an anvil lands on the cougar and knocks him out. After his explanation Wiggum looks at the cheese and asks “man that cheese looks good. Do you think I could grab it before the anvil falls?” Lou responds “Um. I don’t think so chief…” Chief Wiggum sees this as a ‘dare’ and goes for the cheese. The anvil falls right on Wiggum’s dome. He rubs his head and laments in pain “My mistake was grabbing the cheese.”

“So, who won the game? The losers?” – Homer

Pretty straight forward. Homer storms out of a Springfield Isotopes baseball game, leaving his family behind. When they get home he asks, in a very negative tone, “So who won the game? The losers?” Bart responds, “No, they lost.”

“Show some respect! My dad died in some war!” – Lenny

Bart accidentally moon’s the American Flag at a sporting even, causing the crowd to erupt in an anti-antipatriotic mob. Every one screams their utter disgust at this blatant act of disrespect, including Lenny, who declares, “Show some respect! My dad died in some war!”

“I can’t run, I’m wearing flip-flops!” – Ned Flanders

While playing with toys, Homer runs through the street carrying Lisa under his arm. We see Lisa’s point of view, holding up a toy car zooming down the street. Flanders appears. Homer declares they should run him down. Flanders tries to run away, but as they gain on him, he proclaims, “I can’t run, I’m wearing flip flops!”

There’s a bunch more. I’ll come back to this.

Joe