Reader: Jay Steigmann

Much like Joe Janes, Jay Steigmann is a writing instructor and director for the Second City training center. She’s also written and directed several one act plays around Chicago. I met up with her on Monday to discuss the script. Here are a few notes from that meeting:

The first 10 pages are a good hook. Definitely brought her in. Jeff, the main character has good heart. Marcus the agent is really good. Pops off the page.

- The character of Kate is introduced in the first scene and comes off like a main character, but then we never see her again. What gives? He has a crush on her but it goes unresolved. He later moves onto Laura, the main love interest of the story. Jay doesn’t buy his feeling for her. Is he the type of guy who always falls for girls all the time? If so, then he would get over her pretty easily, right? They seem like the same girl. Feelings need to be better defined.

- The more serious scenes, at the end of the second act, could be shorter. The pace slows. Not much humor in them either. What’s a way to make them funnier without affecting the seriousness of the scenes?

- The character of Tim: Jay started off loving him, but towards the end she disliked him greatly. He’s inconsistent. At his party, what’s up with him? Same with outside the movie theater. His playfulness is lost.

- Question arises again: Where’s his money? Needs to be a good reason why he’s not rich. Charity? Divorce? We know the company is screwing him over, but he should then be more vocal about where his money is.

Over all she enjoyed it, which is great. I’ve sent the script out to some other readers and friends who will be involved. I’m at the beginning stages of casting and rehearsing. Oh man, I’m getting really excited!