Coworker: Hey Joe, you got a hair cut.

Me: Yeah.

Coworker: …More like, you got them all cut!

Me: *throat clear*

Coworker: Get it? Because you didn’t get just one hair cut, you had all of them cut.

Me: I understand. Technically what you said was correct, because the word ‘hair’ refers to both the singular and the plural. Like ‘deer’, or ‘fish’.

Coworker: …Man, you’re an asshole.

Number #3. Thanks for voting! Version with text coming soon!

Aphex Twin Selected Ambient Works 85-92

I listen to this album 2 times a day. Sometimes 3. It’s the perfect album to get lost in while reading, writing, or brain storming.

Aphex Twin can have some crazy stuff, but this album of all mellow ambient tracks is perfect for drowning out outside distractions without being distracting itself. It helps me get into the zone.

Check it out: Someone was nice enough to make a youtube playlist of this album. Neat-o!

According to Google Analytics, last month saw a 300% visitor increase in the country of Turkey. Wow! I’m like some sort of international blogging playboy!

I also see increased view counts in France, Germany and Belgium. Woot wooooot! To all my German readers: Ich verwendete eine Web site, um diesen Satz in Deutschen zu übersetzen.*

My numbers in Poland have slipped. Have no fear, I talked to my European street team rep. and she assures me an aggressive viral marketing campaign is underway. Krakow, I’m coming!

In all seriousness, the combined visits from all those countries was 53. Not amazing, I know. It’s really cool that anyone outside my small group of friends gives a shit about anything I do. But Turkey? Even with the small numbers, wow. That’s weird.

Here’s a healthy dose of reality for joeavella.com: My most popular blog posts is this one: 7 Celebrities That May Be Zombies. And it’s found by the most popular tags on my blog: ‘goldie hawn’ and ‘buck cherry’. I think this is very funny.

I won’t do any more meta blog posts, aka blog posts about my blog. At least not until I’m blowing up in the Czech Republic.

*English translation: “I used a website to translate this sentence into German.”

Check it out, a picture of me ended up in the latest issue of Chicago Magazine! The Sex and Love issue.

DO THIS NOW!!
Go to your local news stand and grab the latest issue of Chicago Magazine (it’s the one with the hot babe on it. Ooh la la!)


Flip to page 59 for the article about the Midwest Teen Sex Show. Get a load of that pic of a dapper Guy Clark!



Read the article. “Wow, this thing is really well written! I’m floored with intrigue.”

Now flip to page 77 for the rest of the article. What’s this?! A picture of Britney and me and the back of Neil Arsenty’s head! How exciting! Take a moment to drink in the eye candy…

Ahhhhhhh. Totally awesome. Now put the magazine back, because this isn’t a library.