Coworker: Hey Joe, you got a hair cut.

Me: Yeah.

Coworker: …More like, you got them all cut!

Me: *throat clear*

Coworker: Get it? Because you didn’t get just one hair cut, you had all of them cut.

Me: I understand. Technically what you said was correct, because the word ‘hair’ refers to both the singular and the plural. Like ‘deer’, or ‘fish’.

Coworker: …Man, you’re an asshole.

This guy in line at Jimmy Johns said to his buddy: “dude, is it kind of racist that every time I see an Asian guy (points to Asian guy near by) I think he looks just like every other Asian guy I’ve see before?”

Yes. But that’s OK, I have the same problem with douche bags. Speaking of which, have we met before?

Today, while walking to get lunch with a coworker, a homeless lady asked us if we could buy her some food. We breezed past her, and after a few steps my buddy goes “Notice how she asked us to buy her food, instead of asking for money? They do that because they know you won’t go out of your way to buy them something, you’ll probably say ‘ah here’s some money, get what you want’, and because they asked for food, you’re more inclined to give and subconsciously you think it’s for food and not drugs or booze.”

What homeless person is that clever? What homeless person is thinking of ways to subconsciously convince you your donation will be spent on food, even though it’s really going to the next quick fix?

If you are capable of possessing this logic, chances are you won’t be homeless. “Come to think of it, instead of using Jedi mind tricks to con people out of their pocket change, I could do some sort of work for them, or their functioning business establishment, so they could give me a higher fiscal handout or ‘wage’ for my efforts! I’m really on to something!”

There’s another homeless dude in front of the Chase building who has a cardboard sign that is impossible to read. It’s this guy’s life story. WAaaaaaaay too long to get the gist of as I slip past. I think it spills over to a second cardboard sheet. Maybe the mind games homeless lady from before could give him some tips on marketing. If he’s there on Monday, I’ll give him my roommate’s copy of the Tipping Point.

I still have the Motorola Razr cell phone, so the camera isn’t the best. Here’s some pics from the last few months.

Dave Kadavy and Tim Racine, karaoke at the Spot. We were there for a theater group’s fund raiser and took full advantage of the drink special. They are singing either California Love or Gin and Juice. (In recently speaking with Dave, the song was Extreme’s More than Words)

Look at that juicy steak! Best steak I’ve ever had! Harry Caray’s Steak House. Who’d a thought? This was at the dinner with my bros for my younger brother’s going away party. He’s in Cambodia for 2 years, and what a perfect meal to have before 2 dietary years of bugs, rice, and sand. Yum!

Some one graffit-o-tagged this add for engagement rings (I think). It caught me by surprise, and I actually laughed out loud when I saw it. Let this be a lesson to all you jokesters out there: Never underestimate the comedic power of added facial hair.

Joe