Script Notes, Part 1
After a week of letting my mind clear, I went through the script and now have about 5 pages of notes. The notes are a healthy combo of scene specific and script-as-a-whole notes.
Act 1 Scene 5:
Do more of the embarrassing photos framed in office.
Running gag in the scene.
Maybe cut to the frame store? Frame store owner: I’m rich!
Act 2 Scene 8:
News report and action in the bar needs to balance each other better.
Reporter banter goes on too long.
Script as a whole:
Strengthen the relationship between inventor and his love interest.
Too much arguing. Needs to be replaced by “real action”.
Introduce the singing GPS earlier!
Infomercials need to be in the movie more
Too many holocaust references
Now it’s a matter of organizing my notes, deciding what to work in and what to eliminate. It’s very exciting at this point because I can really see it coming together. I hope to have the next rewrite done in 2 weeks.
I’m putting a tight deadline on myself so I don’t get into a pattern of endlessly sweating the details. Rewriting is a process of deconstruction and reassembly which can go on forever if you’re not careful.
2 weeks from now is the 4th of July. I plan on spending that day celebrating our nation’s independence and the completion of the second draft. USA! USA! USA!
